What is the purpose of people in our lives? We meet people daily-some we already met, some we never met, some we might be meeting for the last time and there are a few whose next meeting cant be predicted. People enter our lives- as teammates, as classmates, as colleagues, as competitors, as co-passengers, through mutual friends, accidental encounters, etc. There are many ways through which they enter and different ways through which they leave our lives.
People enter our lives to play different roles- a friend, a rival, partner, a well wisher, a crush, sibling, relative, etc.. These roles may change over time depending on the interactions we have with one another. It is because of these people and for these people we tend to do undertake many activities. Most importantly, we spend our time and in some cases, build an emotional attachment with them. We slowly move into a situation where we depend on these people, especially for mental and emotional satisfaction. We need these people's approval, praise and jealousy to feed our ego. Some are so deep into this that they prefer possessing things that cause jealousy among others to things they like-even if it is a life partner. Shakespeare said all the world's a stage and these people become the stage. A stage should complement an artist's role, but in this case, it decides the role. I am not complaining. I have not revealed the purpose of bringing this topic up yet. For Example, people who succumb to this kind of peer pressure desire to own a DSLR and end up taking pictures in auto mode. I accept I am pointing out the extreme cases and that is my intention too. Now, let me explain a casual relation we have with people. You spend time with people. You create memories which you would love to cherish(yes, love to cherish). You make good friends, compatible business partners, you have siblings who miss you when you are not with them. You are happy when you are with people.
So far was a prologue. What if these people start moving away from your life, in many different ways and for many different reasons? How do you feel if you are not as important to these people as they are to you? You end up with a different emotion and a different conclusion based on the manner in which they leave.
Death - the only way in which people can leave you and never come back into your life again. You miss them and you can do nothing about it except move on.You blame god for their absence in your life and if you are an atheist, you don't even have that option. Stories that end without a conclusion are the most disturbing ones and death gives you one such end. You attempt to give a conclusion to it.You try to reason yourself with that conclusion. But you know it doesn't help. We eventually learn that life is not a fairy tale. If the person is very dear to you, you feel a void in you that is sucking rest of you into it, leading you into a depression. You feel your suffering is not justified. But there is no place for justice in such endings. Justice is better left to stories.
People who have come together to achieve something will have to part after accomplishing the task. It is inevitable. When they are together, they develop a bond with each other. Once they part, some will continue to stay in the same locality while others may move to far off places. Thanks to social networking sites, distance is never an issue if you want to keep in touch with someone. Generally these kinds of partings start with a celebration. We know, we will miss them, but we also know that we will have to move on if we have to chase our dreams. But not everyone makes an attempt at keeping in touch with others. There are people who get in touch with you at least once in a week. On the other hand, there are people who merely respond to you, but never make an attempt by themselves to get in touch with you or even drop a birthday message. How many people in your Facebook friends list drop birthday wishes on your wall? But, these are the same people with whom you, once upon a time, celebrated birthdays, attended parties, shared your problems, debated over issues, etc.. What could be the reason for which they ignore you? Leave it. Its not my concern. But the question is : How does it feel whenever you recollect the past you shared with them? You can say this issue is not worth discussing as people move on and I too should move on. Of course, I agree that it is the eventual conclusion of every discussion here. Also, is moving on so easy? If only it were so, there would have be no Shakespeare and no Tagore.
And then, there is another breed of people. These are your friends and who come across you regularly. Whenever and wherever you meet, there is a high probability of having a coffee with them. But then, those coffees disappear as time progresses. Then comes a stage where your conversations don't last even a minute. By the time the tree changes its leaves, you barely manage to exchange smiles. The final stage is where you both end up as strangers. Isn't it supposed to be a journey from stranger to friend? Why is it the other way?
The general reason given for it is because you have been dropped down in their priorities list, there is a change in behavior pattern. Another reason might be there was no friendship in first place, only acquaintance. You spent time together due to external reasons. And some people tend to fake their role seriously and try to add some of their own flavor to it.
People wear the mask of friend instead of being one for two reasons:
1. To create a fake profile to the world, that they are friendly creatures. I am an introvert. So, I never dared being friendly with anyone for any reason other than my wish to make friends. What do people gain by projecting themselves as a friendly personalities when they don't want to be friends? Is it a desire to acquire a tag as "friendly" in their social circle? This direction of thought will lead to where I started this- depending on people to tell who we are or pretending to be something we are not, so the world builds you a fake but glorious profile for others to see and admire. Or is it that they don't know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?
2. They need you. People who do not love themselves cant stay alone for a long time. They need people around them, sometimes just to prove that they exist. They cant go out by themselves and have a cup of coffee. They need(not want) company. So, they put the needed effort to make you feel that they are treating you as a friend. But, when times comes to move on, you are replaced by some one else.
Everyone in your life fits into one of the above categories. But, apart from the above mentioned, there are another kind of people who stand for true meaning of a friend. It doesn't matter when you meet them or how rarely you meet them, they will always be there for you. Weeds are seasonal, but trees are everlasting. I have friends whom I meet often and some whom I seldom meet. But whenever me meet, it is as if nothing has changed between us. Cherish them as long as you can and never lose them.But the trick is, you feel most of the people around you come under this category. But is it really so? As long as these people are in your life, you cannot differentiate them without growing a suspicious mind. You can choose either of the two options. Take life as it comes, people come and go and you remain with memories. Or grow a suspicion, move away from people whose memories are not worth your time.
But, life is not as simple as I make it sound like. Everyone we meet cannot be a friend. You don't get to choose what kind of people you should meet and more importantly, you cannot decide who should stay in your life.
My intention is not to point out a may or may not exist problem and provide a solution to it. My concern is about the people around you and what they do in your life, not what you should be doing with them. I don't advice people. I only make them see things from my perspective.
There is a belief that moments before you die, your whole life flashes in your mind. Many inspirational authors advice people to make sure that, if it happens it should be worth watching. You experience the same if you come across the people from past. Of course, the causes that trigger the memories are not limited just to people, but also to places, things, sounds and most importantly scent. Scent is the most powerful tool to bring back memories of your almost forgotten past. How do you deal with such memories?
It takes considerable amount of time to build a strong relationship with anyone. But most people may not stay in your life long enough to build a relationship.Socialize, enjoy, part, miss, move on. Many cycles. Parallel cycles. Some leave memories. Some teach lessons. Some change you. But everyone one of them plays their role in creating your past. People enter your present and end up in your past. Beautiful are not those who continue to stay in your present, but beautiful are those who never make you regret for the time you spent with them.
