You have so much to talk. But you cant simply resume the conversation in the next encounter. You expect the other person to remind you of the incompleteness of your previous conversation. You don’t want to bring up the topic yourself. But you want to discuss it. Your desire for closure is overwhelmed only by the inconvenience caused by the incompleteness of the conversation.
I have had serious conversations.
Some of them are life altering conversations. I had some serious conversations
stopped abruptly citing some random reasons. No promise of resuming these
conversations. No realization either that how important it is to close the
conversation.
There is chaos everywhere. Hospitals
running out of beds and oxygen. Largest religious congregation that redefines
chaos is organized in the midst of a bigger chaos only to amplify it. Roads are
filled with election rallies. Burial grounds are over crowded. I think it is the
first-time people started to differentiate between seeing the pain and
experiencing the pain. Difference is, when you see pain, you use it to spread
your propaganda or ideology. When you experience pain, you send distress
tweets. These are the times that clear the filters on the societal structure.
Middle class is an illusion. There are only two groups in this world. Rich and
not Rich. Your influence got you VIP tickets for cricket matches, first day first
show tickets of your favorite actor, got you a confirmed Tatkal ticket. But
your influence couldn’t get you a bed with oxygen supply in any hospital. Do
you think you still exist, middle class?
You found it difficult to breath
with a mask. Now you can breathe only with an oxygen mask.
It is like we both are parting
ways. We meet for one final good bye. But our conversation didn’t reach its
end and we left. Did we part? Should we realise it later and connect again to say a final good bye?
Is it needed? How long after an incomplete conversation should we wait to
assume that we have parted ways?
While you suffer, they were in Maldives.
Once they are back, you will use you influence to watch their movies on first
day.
System has always been broken. But your influence helped you navigate it and get things done. But now your influence doesn’t work. Why do we blame system for it? You never voted for a better society, you voted for more powerful influence. You voted for someone from your community or someone who can be useful to you personally. You never expected or wanted your politicians to fix the system. Then why blame them now? Cause you feel helpless that your contacts aren’t working?
Your health is a priority for you. For any government, it is a policy.
Always have someone to speak and pour your heart to. They are like the hole on top of pressure cooker. You talk once and it can take pressure off your mind and heart. Else, your mind overflows with thoughts and starts spilling your deepest facts onto random people, in small portions. The experience, to be crude, will be like orgasm denial. You have spoken, but you don’t have the satisfaction that you have spoken your heart out. You wont feel lighter in the heart. If you are playing truth or dare, stop asking silly questions. Ask something that helps them to lighten their burden. For example: What is the worst/best thing anyone said to you and why is it so? Tell us something about you which you haven’t told us so far. Too many people want to speak. Too less people to listen. The scale is skewed.
It doesn’t matter how you react,
life goes on. You can blame yourself for not knowing that your friend is in
depression and couldn’t stop them from committing suicide or you can charge
10000rs for 4 km of ambulance service during a pandemic. But what kind of
reaction makes you feel alive?
What will you choose? Happy and
dumb or wise and sad. I have already fluctuated once with the answers. First I
chose wise and sad, because I felt being dumb is unbearable and will eventually
suffer. Later, I changed my answer to happy and dumb since I cant suffer as I
am happy. Now, when I think again, what kind of a person are you if you are
happy even after knowing you are dumb? But, can your dumb brain ask this question? But then again, what if you are happy
but never knew that you are dumb? So, I feel it is not a question of happiness vs
sad or dumb vs wise. Your personality will choose an option and you will make peace with whatever option you choose. If not happy, you will atleast feel that
you have chosen the less worse option.
People who suffered choose peace, other choose happiness.
Feelings
How do you feel when someone says,
we need people like you and then don’t select you?
How do you feel when you realise
the best revenge you can have on your friend is give them +4 card when they
said “UNO”?
How do you feel when you try to
boast of your achievements infront of your friends and they still make fun of
you?
How does it feel to be a third
wheel in a group of three friends and you can’t leave them because they need
you?
How do you feel when people
realise that only way they can make you suffer is by suffering themselves and
end up punishing themselves? And how long can you care about them and at what
price?
How do you know whether a person
is emotionless or suppressing his/her emotions?
What do you do with the memories
of all unsuccessful plans?
Have you ever gone to a movie
with someone just to see how they react as the movie plays?
Never expected that a movie quote
can be one big mantra entire world is following since an year. As said in Dunkirk
“Hope is a weapon. Survival is victory”. Literally !!
Where was I? Incomplete conversations.
If you are discussing any of the above questions, don’t let those conversations be incomplete. As a symbolism, I wanted to leave this incomplete, but I don’t want
to be a transmission agent.
